“HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SWEETIE-PIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH YA? ARE YOU SLEEPY? ARE YOU HUNGRY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH, YOU’RE JUST SO CUTE! YES YOU ARE! OH, YES YOU ARE! YOU’RE JUST SO CUTE! HI SWEETIE! HELLO. HELL-OH!”

Baby speak sort of baffles me. I’ve always wondered why we speak to babies in these funny high-pitched, overly happy voices. They can’t respond to us. I know you know what voice I’m referring to. I have seen it in everyone from small children to grown men. And you know what? The smaller the baby, the more oh, foofy, gaga, booboo baby-ish the speaking is. I just find that so funny. You have this 2 week old baby and you’re saying things like “What did you do today? Hi my little friend, how are you?” If only that baby could talk. Maybe it would say something like,

“Well, let’s see. I can’t talk.
I can’t crawl or roll over.
I certainly can’t walk.
I don’t read or watch T.V.
Sports are definitely out.
I’m pretty much at the mercy of my parents these days.
So, I uh…. hmmm …. well, I ate.
I pooped.
I slept.
I cried.
I did stare at those lights in the ceiling for a few minutes. That was cool.
Then I cried for my parents to carry me.
Yep, that was pretty much my day.
Now, would you PLEASE stop talking so close and give me some personal space?

I think we all want babies to like us. I know that’s why I’m guilty. But do you think that we would get the same reaction by saying the exact same thing in our regular voice? Sure, when they’re a few weeks or months old they might start smiling at you, but maybe that’s their way of saying: “Okay, smile and maybe they’ll go away. Give them the smile. That’s what they want. They’ll think I like them and they’ll go away!”

Or, maybe they just smile because they have gas? Who knows what it is; I’m definitely not judging. I am right up there with the best (or is it worst?) of them. I could talk to a baby for hours! They’re pretty much my favorite thing in the whole world, after all. What really makes me chuckle is to hear other people baby-talking babies. Some of them go in to full character, you know? They bring out “Bob the Duck” and “Quack, quack, quack. Here comes Bob the Duck to tickle you! Quack, quack, quack!”

Uh. What just happened?

Or then there are the ones who keep the high-pitched voice but totally ditch actual words. It’s so funny. “Ooooh mooshu-poopoo-gaga-booboo-choo-choo-dada? Oh, ya? Too-too-voo-voo-loo-loo-sa-so” What in the world?! Are those lyrics to a Lady Gaga song?

My husband is Danish and we have found that when he speaks to babies in Danish he always gets a positive response, much more positive than I tend to receive. It’s so funny to watch. I can be giving my all-time best baby-speak performance and the little one just looks at me stone-faced, like: “is that the best you’ve got?” Then my husband will swoop in with a “Hvordan går det, din lille bandit? Vil du have en øl?” in his regular voice, mind you, and the baby is instantly a fan! I have got to get better with my Danish because that is just not fair!

Well, whatever it is that makes us act this way — it must be good for us like exercise and eating healthy. I am certainly no doctor, but I do know that being happy is great for you! When a baby is near, you probably hear (and make!) these sounds because babies have a way of making people happy. The next time you’re near a very small baby pay attention to the sounds around you. It might even lift your spirits just watching or listening to someone else engage them!

Tess is married to a wonderful man who gets to work with rock stars for a living! They have the best son, who just happens to be a real-life rock star himself. She splits her time at Scandinavian Child between customer service and administrative duties. In her spare time she loves to take pictures, read, and hang out with her family! She’ll never complain about having an extra hour to sleep. She is a sports fanatic and lives for baseball and tennis.